New Beginnings

When I heard our family was going to be getting an XBOX for Christmas, I was very hesitant. I've heard stories of kids and adults alike being "glued" to these things and really didn't want that for my family. As I said before, the cost of it also kept it out of the picture for years. During the weeks after Christmas, I witnessed some of the behaviors I didn't want in my home coming out in my children, for example, they wanted to play all the time, they fought over whose turn it was, homework was not being done first, and my oldest was being too controlling over it. I had to change the tide in our home, and FAST! It took weeks of preparation, and thought, even calling my sisters for advice, but we came up with chore and behavior charts. We even provided a way for each chore done to earn 5-15 minutes more playing time on Fridays and Saturdays. As an added bonus, I threw in the "above and beyond" chores that included things that I thought Damien would not really do, so they earned a whopping hour extra playing time if done. It took a while to finally present our rules, but we finally did it on Tuesday night. We read all the rules, consequences and rewards and asked for input, then we posted them immediately. Thankfully everyone was in agreement. Now it was time to see if anyone was going to do chores, and if we as parents were going to follow through with the rewards and consequences. To my surprise (don't want to jinx myself here) Damien really took off with it. I really mean it, he took OFF!! It was 8 o'clock at night and he was taking out the trash, sweeping the floors, putting away the dishes, and quickly going over to the fridge to tally up how much time he just earned for the weekend. I was pleasantly shocked, however I wanted to go to bed :) Then he said, "I want to do the above and beyond chores" and he didn't want to do just one either, he did 2 of them before I told him it was time for bed. Friday night he was on FIRE and his brothers went along with it too, all trying to earn more time and "Stars" on their charts showing completion of their assigned chores. Damien went to the above and beyond chores again and started cleaning the base boards, and even the bathrooms (a place he said he would never clean). Since I am usually the one who does these major chores, I coached him through it so he did it to my expectations (I know, I know, I am picky as to how cleaning is done in our home). I did try not to be too hard or unreasonable. But the above and beyond chores, since they earned an hour, had to meet high expectations. Now I just have to remind the children that if they choose to do the chores, they have to do it all the way, not just half effort and expect the reward. Damien has even said, "Can I take the trash bins out to the street and back again right now and earn minutes?" I said, "No, it must be trash day." He's too smart for his own good. So, for the trash reward, I put, "The trash must be FULL, before taking it out, to earn reward." I am learning in all this. It seems to be working. Chores are willingly being done. I'm trying not to adjust our rules too much. Since it is all new, small additions and changes are being made to fit each child since there is a huge age gap. After day one we reviewed their charts at the end of day one, Max hadn't made his bed and didn't get a star, so he started to cry. Guess it is working, he immediately made his bed at 8 o'clock. This morning, everyone was up telling me they made their beds, and Damien asked to clean the shower. Last night, Mike asked, "Is this our home?" as he looked around as saw the children cleaning.

I hope this lasts!!

I have good boys. I just want to keep them that way. I want them to be hardworking young men, Missionaries, Husbands and Fathers.